I’ve been listening to the Tim Ferriss Show during my work commute. Podcasts are such a wonderful use of dead time in the car. I can’t count how many times I’ve been able to find answers to problems, learn something, or develop a new curiosity as a result of listening to podcasts instead of the repeated nonsense on the radio.
In this case, one of the episodes from the Tim Ferriss Show inspired this blog post.
A quick unrelated note, if you haven’t listened to the Tim Ferriss Show yet, do so if you enjoy really good conversations. His interviewing style is incredible. No, I’m not paid to endorse him. Just a fan.
Anyway, it was episode 35, in which he interviewed Tony Robbins and Peter Diamandis that I heard something which danced around my head for a few days. Tony Robbins said something along the lines of, “Stop complaining about problems and start figuring out how to solve them.”
I was driving, so I couldn’t take down the exact quote. I didn’t think it was worth hunting down because that’s a common enough statement to almost be considered cliche.
Maybe it’s because my commute is boring, but I thought about that statement for a while and realized that complaining is as much about being human as eating, sleeping, and socializing is. We complain because we’re flawed. But, there’s a big reason why I believe complaining is beneficial.
Before I go into detail with my thoughts, I first want to point out where I think Tony Robbins and others are coming from. If people fall into a cycle of complaining over and over again, particularly if it’s the same thing or the same few things, it’s going to get stale and annoying. Expecting someone else to solve a problem is an extremely inefficient way to go about things, especially if the problem is impacting the quality of your life.
Participating in a complaining session to develop camaraderie with your peers is one thing, but if you actually need something to change, eventually you’ll have to stop complaining and do something about it.
I’m going to break down the act of constructive complaining in two ways. The first of which is…
Establishing the Problem
When you start to notice a problem, it doesn’t always come at you at once. Often, little pieces will display themselves here or there. It takes time to realize there is a pattern. It takes time to realize that there is a common root to the little pieces.
If you are sitting around and complaining to your friends, they might be able to offer up pieces you haven’t noticed yet. This can help form a big picture more quickly.
When people work together to establish a problem, it can foster the desire to create change. Which leads me to the second part …
Creating a Solution
Peers can help you figure out if the problem is real or imagined. Friends can help you discover how narrow or widespread a problem is. After that is all done, those same people can provide the support necessary to carry out the act that will solve the problem.
Group input is incredibly helpful when it comes to brainstorming solutions. All the people around you have a different worldview. That means they can create different patterns and make a more complete picture for you. They can help design multiple solutions and imagine multiple outcomes to each one before you settle on what action you’re going to take.
Establishing the problem and creating a solution would certainly be an ideal situation for everyone when they feel the need to complain. Obviously that’s not going to be the case every time. But don’t let that discourage you.
You never know when someone else is as fed up as you are and is ready for change.
You never know how much the act of getting the words out there can be just cathartic enough to help you clearly consider options for solutions.
If nothing else, the act of complaining buys you the time necessary to think things through so you don’t act rashly.
What do you think? Have you ever had a positive experience come out of complaining about a problem with a group of friends? Or do you think complaining does more harm than good? Leave a comment. I’d love to get a discussion going!